Hi – don’t go looking in the archive for anti-scooter road rage #1 because it’s not there but I’ll tell you the story if you want – I don’t think I had a blog when it happened – either that or I didn’t care – in any case …
today, I was driving to work down milwaukee ave (which I normally don’t do) during rush hour (which I normally don’t do) and I’m crossing this bridge just before grad (going southeast) and this car honks at me – as it’s driving by, I see the dude yelling at me, but the window is closed and I can’t hear him – so I just smile politely and give him the finger – he replies by showing me his finger in the rear view mirror
we pull up to the stop light at grand and milwaukee and, as expected, he stops early and rolls down his window so he’ll have an opportunity to tell me what a horrible person I am …
dude: I almost hit you back there
me: oh ok – I’m glad you didn’t – please try to be more careful
dude: you can’t go switching lanes like that
me: what are you talking about?
dude: you were switching lanes – make up your mind
me: it’s a one-lane street
dude: you were in the bike lane, then you were in the car lane – make up your mind
me: no I wasn’t – first, this isn’t a bike, so it doesn’t go in the bike lane – second, this is milwaukee ave during rush hour the bike lane is full of bikes
dude: yeah you need to watch yourself so when you go home to your gay lover …
me: wait. you can’t think of anything intelligent to say and that makes me gay?! [to his girlfriend, riding shotgun] you picked a real winner here
dude: [taking off his seatbelt] I’ll fuck you up
me: [laughing] whatever buddy – I’m going to work
dude: [messing with his seatbelt to emphasize that he is not only willing, but ready to 'fuck me up'] I’ll fuck you up
at this point his light turns green and cars are honking at him to drive – I’m cackling like the wicked witch of the west and he’s driving away screaming out the window
in happier news, I saw josh cushner last night – it was a good time – josh is a great guy that I know from college – he’s really funny and, I know this is going to sound dorky, kinda inspired me to play the guitar better – I was playing rhythm and not all that good in college and he would bust out this jimmy page blues licks – I think he’d be proud of me – I decided that his solo album should be called “when cush comes to shove” and should feature a photo of him in real americana (springsteen/mellencamp) type garb with his taxi-caster
sofie and x joined us for cocktails at houlihan’s (near his hotel) followed by cocktails inside the hotel – then we scooted home